The last five years or so have been hard. I think, maybe, I had it too good before, but you don’t know that until it gets really hard. No one goes through this life without hurdles and I guess it was just my time for them.
The turning point was when I broke my leg. It wasn’t the typical “break your leg, walk on crutches and six weeks later you are healed” thing. It was extremely painful and debilitating. I wasn’t able to care for myself or anyone else in the family for a while, and that was a new thing for me. Though I was very lucky to have such awesome friends and family support me!
For about a year and a half after the break, I thought I would be permanently disabled. Then, thanks to Dr. Hackett and Dr. Kim, I got a new knee and a new chance! I still walk with a slight limp, I can’t run, my knee swells pretty easily…but I feel like I can do almost anything I want to and I am so grateful for my knee replacement!
The other thing that broke during that time was my marriage. It was so very painful (still is), but it is better now. I don’t cringe as much when I say I am divorced, not as much. I don’t wake up every morning and burst into tears, or go to bed crying myself to sleep…only once in a while. I was married for 19+ years, with him for 24 years…my entire adult life until that point. It takes time, a lot of time, but it does get better.
There is a lot of stress and uncertainty after divorce. It was not only hard on me, but so tough on my kids and that guilt is almost unbearable. People say that kids are resilient, but I think that is a load of crap. Kids are vulnerable and impressionable, and I am responsible for mine. Each of my kids has dealt with the divorce in their own troubled way.
As if all that isn’t enough, finances started to get tight, really tight. It was time for this stay-at-home mom to not stay-at-home so much anymore. Time to make some bacon. (Ha! I don’t think any teacher feels like they are making much bacon!). I put myself out there, starting interviewing for teaching jobs, and got rejected. I was actually partly relieved because none of the jobs I interviewed for were just right. And then, it happened! I got my dream job! At the time, I didn’t know it was my dream job, but it was! I didn’t know I wanted to teach math, but I love math! I didn’t know I wanted to teach middle-school…who is crazy enough to like middle-school? Um, me, that’s who. It was the hardest and best year all rolled into one!
And then…my contract was not renewed. I was devastated. Am I a horrible teacher? No. I was an almost 50 year-old rookie teacher that needed time to find her stride, which I did. I LOVE teaching! I am PASSIONATE about teaching! And I can’t wait to teach again! I also LOVE Stone Creek Charter School and more than anything else…I LOVE the kids there!
But for now, it was not meant to be…
The final piece as to why now was the house. It was time to sell. It was actually time to sell a long time ago, but I wasn’t ready then. Now, I was as ready as I would ever be to sell the only house I have ever owned. Jono and I built the house and raised three kids there and created a lot of memories. It was really hard letting it go, but selling has allowed me to go on this amazing journey!
And so there I was…no job, no house, and pretty burnt out.
What was the universe trying to tell me? Is there fate? Or just bad things happen to everyone and there is no reason behind it?
I don’t know for sure, but I do find it interesting that for more than a year now, I have been reading about/following several families/couples that travel full-time in an RV or even just a VW van. Twenty years ago, I didn’t even like VW vans! And who the heck chooses to live in one??? I even said to my sister in June, “I have no idea why I am so fascinated with these people living in vans…I would never want to do that!” Ha!
Some of my favorites are:
Anyway, whether there is some element of destiny or just seizing the opportunity before me...here I am...living in a camper trailer for the next 9 months or so...ready to explore and recharge and connect...Happy trails!
(P.S. I really like ... and I don't always use commas correctly and I promise to post pictures next time)